Metal Gear Solid, how it really happened!
by Moo Moo cow
Summary: What 'really' happened at Shadow Moses Island!! Read and find out! chapter 5 is now up!
1. It's snow time!

Disclaimer: There are a lot of things I don't own.Metal Gear is one of them.  
*Snake swimming under the water about to reach the disposal facility*  
  
Snake: Under the sea! (Loads of coloured fishies come out of no where and swim around Snake) Under the seeeeeeeeaaaaa!  
  
(Snake surfaces and gets up on the ledge)  
  
(Snake on Codec*) *Bleep bleep*  
  
Snake: This is Snake, Colonel can you hear me?  
  
Campbell: No, di..um..I mean.err yes! Loud and clear!  
  
Snake: I'm in front of the disposal facility  
  
Campbell: Uh huh..oh yeah! Wait for the elevator!  
  
Snake: Why?  
  
Campbell: It'll be down in a moment  
  
Snake: But.(Scared) there.there.are soldiers everywhere!  
  
Campbell: just do it! (Snake goes of codec) (After half an hour, the elevator finally comes down)  
  
Snake: (asleep) zzzz..zzzz..  
  
Soldiers: zzzzzzzzzzzz.. Zzzz  
  
Snake: (wakes up) Huh? Oh the elevator!  
  
(Snake runs to the elevator and starts going up)  
  
(Snake is takes off his swimming gear)  
  
('METAL GEAR SOLID' appears over Snake's head)  
  
Snake: Well would you look at that!  
  
('METAL GEAR SOLID' falls on Snake's head)  
  
Snake: Owie.  
  
(Elevator stops, Snake comes skipping out and slips on the snow and lands behind a small crate)  
  
Snake: owie..  
  
*Bleep bleep* Campbell: Nice job Snake! Age hasn't slowed you down one bit!  
  
Snake: What's that sonny?  
  
Naomi: How is that sneaking suit working out?  
  
Snake: It shows my butt!  
  
Naomi: Bear with it, it is designed to prevent hypothermia Snake: Take it easy I'm grateful! Wait.no I'm not! It shows my butt!  
  
(Hind-d takes off)  
  
Snake: Colonel what's a Russian gun ship doing here?  
  
Colonel: I have no Idea! But you can slip in unnoticed now!  
  
Mei ling: Wow! You must be crazy to fly a hind in this kind of weather!  
  
Snake: Who's that?  
  
Campbell: Huh? Oh, that's just Mei Ling, she tagged a long with us  
  
Mei Ling: I invented the Codec  
  
Snake: Wow! Really?  
  
Mei Ling: Yup  
  
Snake: Please to meet you Mei Ling it's an honour to speak to a living legend like yourself!  
  
Mei Ling: ..  
  
Snake: What's wrong?  
  
Mei ling: Oh nothing, I just didn't expect a trained killer to be so..cute  
  
Snake: ^_^ your just flattering me!  
  
Mei Ling: No, I'm serious!  
  
Campbell: How can you get in the facility Snake?  
  
(Snake runs through the Snow and looks at the soldiers (with his scope) who are playing in the snow)  
  
Soldier #1: Walking in a winter wonderland! Soldier #2: Jingle bells! Liquid smells! Snakey ran away! Metal Gear lost its rear! Ocelot got away! Soldier #3: Hee hee! (Throws a snowball) Soldier #1: Hey!  
  
Snake: They're armed with snowballs, and there is an air vent over there!  
  
Campbell: quick go through the air vent!  
  
Snake: Can't I go play with the Soldiers?  
  
Campbell: Snake, just go in the damn vent! (Snake goes off Codec, grabs a SOCOM that he found on the floor and runs to the air vent and climbs inside).  
  
Well, there is the first chapter! Please review! Flames welcome! ^-^ I'll continue the next chapter after I get reviews! 


	2. The unexpected death of the chief and gu...

*Bleep bleep*  
  
Master: Snake! This is Liquid Snake.oops! I mean.McDonnell Miller, it's been a while  
  
Snake: Sure has! I haven't seen you since the reunion!  
  
Master: riiiiiiiiight.Anyway call me if you need advice or what ever  
  
Snake: Okay! (Goes off Codec)  
  
(Snake goes down the ladder to the tank hanger)  
  
(He goes to the elevator and waits for it to come down, he gets into it)  
  
(Annoying fancy hotel music plays in the elevator)  
  
Snake: Do de do do do do do, hmmmm.  
  
(Elevator stops)  
  
(Snake gets in the air vent and crawls along and sees Meryl down below doing pull-ups)  
  
Snake: ^__^  
  
Meryl: Huh? (Looks up)  
  
Snake: *Squeal!* (Crawls to were the darpa chief is)  
  
Darpa chief: Who? W-Who's that?  
  
(Snake climbs down and lands on his head)  
  
Snake: (gets up quickly) I'm okay  
  
Darpa Chief: Who are you? What's your outfit?  
  
Snake: I know! It really shows my butt doesn't it?  
  
Darpa chief: huh?  
  
Snake: Oh yeah! Errm (tries to sound manly) I'M THE PAWN THEY SENT TO SAVE YOUR WORTHLESS BUTT!  
  
Darpa chief: Wow! That sure is nice of you! Let's go!  
  
Snake: Hey! You're supposed to tell me all about Metal gear Rex and stuff! And then you die!  
  
Darpa chief: Oh but its sooooooo boring!  
  
Snake: Yeah, I guess your right, but....Hmmm  
  
Darpa chief: oh all right! PAL key...blah blah blah..PAN card, here you go (hands it to Snake)...3 keys...blah blah blah  
  
Meryl: (listening to the wall) that card key!  
  
Darpa chief: anyway the most important thing is....ARRRRRGGH!  
  
Snake: (Wakes up) What is it?!  
  
Meryl: What's going on?! Hey! (Bangs on the door)  
  
Darpa chief: (Choke) (splutter) (gasp)  
  
(Darpa chief grabs hold of Snake)  
  
Snake: Get off me, you queer!  
  
(Darpa chief dies, Meryl stops banging) (Snake checks the chief's pulse)  
  
Snake: Thank God he's dead.I mean.. My god he's dead! *Bleep bleep* Snake: Naomi! The chief! What happened?  
  
Naomi: I don't know  
  
Snake: Heart attack?  
  
Naomi: Probably  
  
Snake: well.. I'd better go to President baker before he dies too!  
  
Naomi: Okay bye-bye!  
  
(Goes off codec)  
  
Guard: ARRGH.. Ouch! Ooooooo...hee hee hee!  
  
(Door opens)  
  
Snake: Cool! And I didn't have to do anything! (Steps out, and sees naked knocked-out guard)  
  
Meryl: Don't move!  
  
Snake: Do'h!  
  
Meryl: so you killed the chief.you bastard!  
  
(Snake looks up)  
  
Meryl: Huh? Liquid why are you here?  
  
Snake: Huh?  
  
Meryl: What?  
  
Snake: Is this the first time you ever pointed a gun at a person? Your hands are shaking  
  
Meryl: ! Don't move!  
  
Snake: Can you shoot me rookie? (Pulls out SOCOM)  
  
Meryl: (Shoots Snake)  
  
Snake: (tries not to cry) You.sniff...Haven't even.. Sniffle.. Taken the safety off...Sob.. Rookie  
  
Meryl: Open that door!  
  
Snake: okay  
  
(Guards come in)  
  
Guard #1: what are you doing? Snake: Don't Shoot, think! I errr mean.don't think, shoot!  
  
(Several Guards come in and Snake does all the shooting, Meryl just stands there)  
  
Snake to Meryl: What are you waiting for? Shoot!  
  
Meryl: don't talk to me like a rookie!  
  
Snake: I'm telling you shoot!  
  
Meryl: Narrrrrrrrrrrrghhh! (Shoots guards)  
  
Snake: (Shoots guard)  
  
Meryl: (Shoots guard)  
  
Snake: (Shoots guard)  
  
(Guards send in a grenade, Snake runs to the corner, and Meryl gets blown up)  
  
Meryl: ...  
  
(That kinda continues for a while, until every guard is dead)  
  
Meryl: (walks forward) Thanks for the help! (Runs through door)  
  
Snake: Wait! (Sees Meryl's butt) wow! (Gets out scope to get a closer look)  
  
Meryl: Hey! (Shoots snake's arm and goes in the elevator)  
  
(Psycho Mantis appears hovering in the air)  
  
Psycho mantis: Hee hee! Good girl, just like that!  
  
Snake: Who was that freak?  
  
*Bleep bleep*  
  
Snake: I think I've had a hallucination!  
  
Naomi: That was Psycho mantis, FOXHOUND'S physic  
  
Snake; I think I'm dying, he scared me!  
  
Campbell: Get to baker, hurry snake! (Goes of Codec) (Minutes later)*Bleep bleep*  
  
Snake: (holding baguettes and cakes) Colonel I went to the bakers  
  
Campbell: No Snake! President Baker! Go to him! Not that kind of friggin' Baker! Ooooo.but bring back that cake! (Goes off codec)  
  
Thanks for the reviews people! More chaps soon to come! 


	3. The drawing contest and Raven battle

Thankx guys, for the reviews! You make me so happy! Anywho.third chapter here. Sorry that I don't put much detail in, I'm very lazy, especially with the tank fight with raven. Chapter 4 comin' soon! Enjoy! Moo moo cow P.S. I'm going away 4 a while so updates will take some time!  
Snake travels to the second floor basement and grabs loads C4's, and blows up all the different coloured walls and finally he reaches Baker.  
  
Snake: Am I too late?  
  
Baker: urrrrrrrgh.  
  
Snake walks up to the wires  
  
Baker: Nooo! No, don't touch it!  
  
Snake: C4!  
  
(A bullet comes flying at Snake and hits him in the toe)  
  
Snake: f***, f***, f***!  
  
Ocelot: Ha! That's right, touch that wire and the C4 will blow up along with the old man!  
  
Snake: Who are you?  
  
Ocelot: Revolver Ocelot!  
  
Snake: what the hell is an ocelot?  
  
Ocelot: An Ocelot is a wild cat that inhabits the forests of.  
  
Snake: I'm sorry I asked..shut up  
  
Ocelot: fine  
  
Snake: fine  
  
Ocelot: Anyway, this is the greatest handgun ever made, the colt single action army. Six bullets, more than enough to kill any thing that moves.Now you'll see why they call me 'Revolver'.  
  
*Dramatic pause*  
  
Ocelot: DRAW!  
  
(They each get out a pencil and pad)  
  
Ocelot: okay, let's see your picture!  
  
(Snake shows his picture, which is a poorly drawn stick person cowboy with a gun that has arrows around it, indicating that it is spinning)  
  
Ocelot: That picture sucks!  
  
Snake: Let's see yours then!  
  
(Ocelot's picture was of what looked like a dog wearing a hat)  
  
Snake: That's an insult!  
  
Ocelot: It's been a long time since I've had such a good drawing contest, but I'm just getting warmed up!  
  
Suddenly Ocelot's hand falls off  
  
Ocelot: What? My hand! (Ninja appears, C4 blows up) Stealth camouflage! Can't you even draw right?! You were lucky, we will meet again! (Runs away)  
  
Snake: (pulls out SOCOM) who are you?  
  
Ninja: I am like you, I have no name  
  
Snake: My name is Snake, What's yours?  
  
Ninja: Fox..I mean..errr.Jerry  
  
Baker: That.that exoskeleton!  
  
Ninja: GWWWWWWAAAAA! SEE YA! (Runs away)  
  
Snake: Who the hell? (Walks over to Baker) Are you hurt?  
  
Baker: yes..I.I  
  
Snake: Good, now tell me all you know bout' Metal Gear and the terrorists, I'm on a tight schedule (looks at his diary) I have to make it back to Twin Lakes in a few hours or I'm going to miss Friends.  
  
Baker: *sigh.Rex..blah blah blah.three keys..blah. Go and find Hal Emmerich he will help you. Gaaaa! Those pentagon Bastards! (Dies)  
  
*Bleep bleep*  
  
Snake: Oh great! Now he's dead too!  
  
Naomi: Yup looks like it  
  
Snake: .  
  
Naomi: ..  
  
Campbell: Snake get in contact with my single 'n' sassy niece Meryl, I want you two to work together  
  
Snake: Can I trust her?  
  
Campbell: Nope, but call her anyway  
  
Snake: What's her frequency?  
  
Campbell: It's on the back of the CD case  
  
Snake: The optic disk?  
  
Campbell: No, the MGS case  
  
Snake: Huh? Oh! (Winks) gotcha!  
  
(Ends call with the colonel) (Calls Meryl)  
  
Meryl: Who are you?  
  
Snake: Santa Clause  
  
Meryl: Hey! Your that stud from the prison!  
  
Snake: Yup  
  
Meryl: are you really Santa?  
  
Snake: Yes  
  
Meryl: ah ha! Are you Snake? Are you Solid Snake?  
  
Snake: errrrrr...No  
  
Meryl: I knew it! You're the legendary Solid Snake! (Takes off hood) Sorry, about before, I wasn't sure that you were one of the good guys!  
  
Snake: I was really un-impressed by the way you busted yourself outta there  
  
Meryl: (lowers head) I'm sorry.I just couldn't pull the trigger right away.  
  
Snake: But killing someone is the easiest thing you could possibly do!  
  
Meryl: But.. They are living people..I had no problems at the academy..  
  
Snake: Sure you did. Now can you open the cargo door?  
  
Meryl: Sure!  
  
Snake: good, by the way, know anything bout a doctor called Hal Emmerich?  
  
Meryl: Yeah, he is in the building to the north  
  
Snake: Thankx bye!  
  
(Goes of codec)  
  
(Snake travels back to the hanger to the cargo door)  
  
*Bleep bleep*  
  
Meryl: Snake! Watch out! There are inferred sensors there! Be careful!  
  
(Goes of codec)  
  
Snake: oh great! (Lights cigarette) how am I supposed to see the sensors now? I haven't got my thermal goggles! (Notices he can now see them, thanks to his cigarettes) yay!  
  
(Crawls under them) Snake: easy...easy...easy  
  
(Reaches the end)  
Snake: Phew! I made it!  
  
(Goes through door)  
  
*Bleep Bleep*  
  
?: Careful! There are claymore mines around there!  
  
Snake: Who is this?  
  
?: errrr... Just call me Gray fox..I mean deepthroat  
  
Snake: The guy from the water gate scandal?  
  
Deepthroat: yeah sure, why not. See ya!  
  
(Huge tank, approaches)  
  
Raven: This is Raven's territory! Snakes don't belong in Alaska!  
  
Snake: Technically neither do Ravens  
  
Raven: ..Ermm..Send him a message! (Fires)  
  
Snake: (gets hit, and falls on the ground) ow! You shot me you Ass-hole!  
  
Raven: That's right! You should crawl on the ground like the Snake, you are!  
  
Snake: (gets up) oh yeah? Well, you should fly in the air, like the raven you are, but your too fat, chumly!  
  
Raven: (upset) that's harsh..(angry) Come let's fight!  
  
Snake: Eeep!  
  
(Snake uses chaff grenade)  
  
(Snake throws grenade into tank)  
  
(Tank explodes, and a soldier comes flying out)  
  
Soldier: waaaaaaaa! (Lands and dies)  
  
(Snake takes his card and goes to the door at the end of the snowfield)  
  
Raven: Well boss, I hope you're happy, he got the card  
  
Liquid: see I told you!  
  
Raven: He sure is mean!  
  
Liquid: same prediction as always?  
  
Raven: Yup, I'll kick his ass with my rail gun! I mean, the raven on my head thirsts for his blood! 


	4. The ninja is back

I'm back! And here's a brand new chapter! Thankx again for the reviews, you guys are the best! More chapters are comin' soon! Moo moo cow ^______^  
  
(Snake reaches the nuclear warhead place)  
  
*Bleep Bleep*  
  
Campbell: Snake, you must not use any weapons in this area!  
  
Snake: And why the hell not?  
  
Naomi: Cos' of the nuclear warheads over there! Can't you see them?  
  
Snake: (puts on very thick and dorky glasses) Oh yeah!  
  
Naomi: Ha! You have glasses? Hahaha! You like a nerd! Hee hee  
  
Snake: (takes off glasses) sniffle.  
  
Campbell: hurry! Rescue that Doctor!  
  
(Snake went up the elevator and went to the second floor basement)  
(Snake sees electric floor)  
  
Snake: (looks at DANGER and WARNING signs) hmm.this could mean something.  
  
*Bleep bleep*  
  
Deepthroat: Watch it Snake! That's an electric floor!  
  
Snake: Don't start! Anyways I'm THE Solid Snake I can handle anything! (Steps forward)  
  
Deepthroat: No! (Snake gets shocked by stepping on floor)  
  
Snake: Gaaaaaaaa! (Jumps off floor) My bad.  
  
Deepthroat: Use a nikita missile! Okay?  
  
Snake: okay! Okay! Settle down.sheesh.  
  
(Goes off Codec)  
(Snake uses the Nikita and blows up the control panel)  
  
Snake: Smashy, smashy!  
  
(Snake goes through the door and runs through the hall filled with poisonous gas, and he reaches the door to the lab)  
  
(Snake sees the remains of dead soldiers and blood everywhere)  
  
Snake: well it's obvious who did this.NO GOOD PUNK KIDS! Or possibly beavers.  
  
(Soldier comes stumbling from around the corner)  
  
Soldier: It's.it's.it's a ghost! (Dies)  
  
Snake: yep.defiantly beavers.(Goes round corner and sees a soldier up in the air being killed)  
  
Snake: DAMN YOU BEAVERS!  
  
(Snake enters the lab)  
  
(Otocon is in the corner and The Ninja is going to him)  
  
Otocon: *whimper* (pees himself)  
  
Ninja: Where is my friend?  
  
Snake: okay where are the beavers? Oh wait your that ninja  
  
Ninja: Lets fight to the death  
  
Snake: okay  
  
Otocon: neeeeeaaahh! *Hides in closet*  
  
Ninja: Fine he can watch from in there. Now make me feel it make me feel alive again!!!  
  
(Snake takes out SOCOM and shoots him)  
  
Ninja: That's good Snake, now we will fight in hand combat *puts sword away* only a fool trusts his life with a weapon.  
  
Snake: Then why did you have a sword in the first place?  
  
Ninja: ummm.*punches Snake*  
  
Snake: owie! *Punches Ninja*  
  
(This continues for a while)  
  
Ninja: *turns to stealth* hurry up and catch me!  
  
Snake: well.darn. I'm going to have to use my senses as the legendary hero that I am! *Stumbles round blindly punching and kicking air*  
  
Ninja: Arggh!  
  
Snake: Hey! I got him!  
  
(This also continues for a while) (Ninja kneels down)  
  
Ninja: That's good Snake! *Bzzzzt* I have been waiting for this pain!  
  
(Snake gets out FAMAs and shoots him)  
  
Ninja: Do you remember me now?  
  
Snake: It can't be! Mummy!  
  
Ninja: yes it is I.wait! No! For god's sake man!  
  
Snake: oh wait.You were killed in Zanzibar!  
  
Ninja: Yes well..GAAAAAAAAAAAA! *bzzzt bzzt bzzzt* the mediciiiiiiiiiiiine! *runs off*  
  
Snake: Bye mummy! 


	5. Otocon

*Snake walks up to locker*  
  
Snake: Are you going to be in there all day?  
  
Otocon (from inside the locker): You're not one of them? (Comes out of locker) Your uniform is different from the others.  
  
Snake: I know! The bandanna really gives my outfit that sense of danger and my boots are totally in this season.  
  
Otocon: what?  
  
Snake: oh nothing never mind.you're that Doctor Hal Emmerich right?  
  
Otocon: Yes, I was working on the Metal Gear at this base. Rex is designed to hold beach balls and base guitars.  
  
Snake: (Grabs Otocon) Liar! I know Metal Gear was designed to be a walking death mobile!  
  
Otocon: What are you talking about?  
  
Snake: Metal Gear was to be able to launch a nuclear attack! (Puts Otocon down)  
  
Otocon: No.put a nuclear missile on Rex?  
  
Snake: Did you know anything about this?  
  
Otocon: No but I knew it had a rail gun, laser, amplifier, beach ball dispenser, ice maker, eye gouger, cattle rammer and a time machine but I never knew about it launching nuclear attacks.  
  
Snake: Sure you didn't. (looks nervous) errr.are you feeling okay?  
  
Otocon: yeah I'm fine. What's with you acting all friendly all of a sudden?  
  
Snake: Oh nothing.it's just everyone who I try and talk to suddenly dies.  
  
Otocon: Ah! You're bad luck!  
  
Snake: Well you're just stupid. What made you decide to do this profession?  
  
Otocon: I wanted to make robots like in Japanese anime!  
  
Snake: That's a pretty crummy reason.  
  
Otocon: Well, why did you want to become a soldier?  
  
Snake: I had only one dream.to make the world's most powerful flushing toilet but my dream turned to nightmare after the incident at toilets-R-us. So I ended up, as a rodeo clown then became a soldier.  
  
Otocon: wow you're interesting.  
  
Snake: I know. Now Hal.  
  
Otocon: Call me Otocon.  
  
Snake: Now Otocon.wait, Otocon?  
  
Otocon: It means Otaku convention.  
  
Snake: huh. Well, you're strange.  
  
*Bleep bleep*  
  
Meryl: Hello  
  
Snake: Meryl, Where are you?  
  
Meryl: Very Close.  
  
Guard: There she is!  
  
*Gun firing*  
  
Meryl: Damn! They spotted me! *Gasp* (Screen goes fuzzy)  
  
Snake: Meryl!  
  
*Goes off Codec*  
  
Snake: Meryl's in trouble. I won't know how to find her.  
  
Otocon: Her butt will probably be cuter than the others, find her that way. I ran around in stealth camouflage and saw her.  
  
Snake: You must have been looking close.  
  
Otocon: Well she does have a cute behind.  
  
Snake: okay, c'mon let's get out of here.  
  
Otocon: okay *limps to doorway*  
  
Snake: Are you hurt?  
  
Otocon: oh, I twisted my ankle as I got away, don't worry I'll be fine.  
  
Snake: No you won't you'll just slow me down.  
  
Otocon: I'll go on my own then, don't worry I'll be fine I've got this! *Turns stealth on* I'll be in contact with you by Codec. (Runs off)  
  
Snake: Nerd. 


End file.
